The Reluctant Christian Mourns

The Reluctant Christian Mourns

When I, each time anew,
shed tears as bread and wine are blessed.
Am I sad for You
or for my gnawing emptiness?

Do I cry because You suffer
You perfect Lamb, unblemished life,
or do I cry from self importance,
too self aware and full of strife?

I thirst!
I hunger for Your love.
I am too well versed in my need.

I cry for my lonely destitution
– I also cry because you bleed.

Inseparable, my joy and grief,
my love embedded in my need.
O Lord, please make whole my belief,
purify thought, word, and deed.

– A.M. Otwell, 2008